feli@mel

Busy with Assignments and Tired

2006-09-08T20:22:00.000-07:00

Tis week is a crazy week with so many assignments due tis week. One thing good though i get to talk to mommy every night and she really comforts me when i am so stressed up. I really miss her, cant c her real life, miss her hugs and kisses too. MOMMY, i miss you and looking forward to see u in dec again but i will only be home for a couple of months, WAAAAAAAA!!! Next year will be away from home for 9 months instead of 5 months, 4 months longer, can't imagine how to cope without mommy. Have to look for a part time job next year so can get some of my pocket money and i really have to manage my time properly, if cant cope then during the 6 weeks break only go look for a job for the 6 weeks, c how things go first. I didn't do a good job for director bcs lack of time as i started it quite late bcs got another assignment due before that but i just hope i can pass it bcs heard that the lecturer is very strict. Keeping my fingers crossed!!! Wonder how things are going for my friends? Oh ya, Mala is getting married tis year and next week onwards she is on leave. She can't c Kumar until the date of marriage so now tumpang Caroline's car. CONGRATULATIONS MALA AND KUMAR!! Sorry can't attend your wedding. Hope they take a lot of pictures so that i can see them when i go bck to kl. Hope they have a happy life together. Congrats!!!

Another 10 more weeks i will be going back to kl. Looking forward to that. Miss the food there and my parents and close friends. Wonder anything different in kl after being away for so long. Wonder how my petsis is doing? Don't c her online nowadays bcs she don't have internet access. Looking forward to c her tis dec and next year jan before she leaves as she will be leaving kl before me, a month before me. Hope she will be ok.

Nice Song n Missing u mom!!!

2006-08-24T23:47:00.000-07:00

At times i really wonder how to do things at times without my mom. I really miss my mom and love her so much. Now i know how people feel at times when they are out overseas on their own. I am ok wid doing washing etc on my own but i really miss my mom and according to my friend that means i appreciate her a lot which is a good thing also. I really miss my mom loads and at times without her around i feel like i m lost, missing part of myself as i do a lot of things wid her in kl. I know i have to learn to be independent, learn to do things on my own bt without her at times i feel lost. I know what some of my frens have gone through because i m going through the same process as them. My fren told me some people will not ever stop missing someone they are close to which is normal so i think i am quite normal to miss my mom throughout the two years i m here. Nothing can stop me from missing her bt i wun let the missing part affect my life bcs if it does it will be bad according to one of my frens. Miss you loads mummy!!!

我們怎麼了 S.H.E 曲:Tank
落泪以前再看一眼
你模糊侧脸这会不会是最后纪念
我凝视你
而你凝视着窗外的阴天
一句抱歉都僵在嘴边
我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后是否住着伤口
我想不通
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否能让什么复活
你的项链还在胸前
晃动着昨天
为何回忆会让人晕眩
如果我们继续向前
走进雨里面会
不会有溶解的危险
我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后是否住着伤口
我想不通
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否能让什
么复活明明从前
连争执都很甜美
现在怎会
说句话就能痛一遍
我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后是否住着伤口
我想不通
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否
能让什么复活

Bad Experience

2006-08-22T05:22:00.000-07:00

Had a bad experience over the weekend bt dun really wana talk about it. Just wana say was not well afta i came back to my apartment. Now i realized something, i like my bed and my room, dun wana slp in a plc where i m not used to although there is another plc i can stay which i am used to and maybe i would. Although that plc is cold bt it is nice and cosy and i like it. I came back over the weekend feeling very depressed and lucky for me tis time i got over it very quickly, which i normally take about a week to get over it.

I still miss my mom a lot esp when i am alone. I dun wana trouble anyone anymore so i think betta to stay at home or go out and hang ard outside my area. Like ppl said, you have to do things on your own. Can't always depend on people. Anyway, i got quite a number of assignments due nx mth. 5 assignment due next month and 4 assignments due end of oct on the same week moreover 3 assignments due on the same day. After that i got exams already then i am going back to kl which i m really looking forward to as i wana c my mom. wonder how am i going to survive next year bcs i will be here for 9 mths instead of 5 mths bt i told my mom to come over when she is free which i really hope she will so can go out lepak wid her a bit. Going to miss her more next year. Wad my fren said is true, it is ok to miss someone, normal to miss someone which means that you appreciate that person which shows that i appreciate my mom. i can go back for the summer holidays tis year and next year. Looking forward to that.

Feeling Depressed

2006-08-19T21:27:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning feeling very depressed. Miss my mom a lot! I cried talking to her on the phone and still crying now. How i wish she was around to hug me and comfort me. Auntie Mary told me that i could stay over at her place every weekend bt my mom said it is not a very good idea bcs i will trouble my cousin bro a lot to fetch me here and there which is true also. No one to talk to no one here, its so lonely. I wish someone was here to comfort me. What to do? I am here on my own have to fend for myself. Depressing!!!

2006-08-05T19:06:00.000-07:00

I woke up yesterday morning feeling very upset bcs i dun have my mom here wid me to celebrate my bday wid me and i was bored the whole day bcs my mom was not ard. i cried a few times during the day bcs i really miss my mom. Wonder how some ppl wun gt homesick. No matter how many things i got to do i still think of my mom a lot and i dun noe y. I really miss my mom esp on my bday bt the day ended well when my housemates and a few of her frens came over to celebrate my bday wid me. They even bought a birthday cake for me and i was so happy. Her ex-housemate Jou Jou also came over, she is really funny gal make us laugh the whole nite through bt she is going bk to kl today already. All the best to her in wadever she does and i will go and i will mayb go and look for her when i m bk in kl in dec.

At least i gt to talk to my mom everyday, not only over the phone bt the internet as well. I can tell her anything and everything i want to. I wonder how my petsis is doing in kl. I hope she is studying hard so that she can come over to perth next year. I miss her also bcs she is like a sister to me. She makes ppl laugh a lot and is easy to get along with. I wonder how did she do for her exams the last time. Must ask her when i gt bk to kl in dec. M really looking forward to dec. Next year will be worse, i will be away for 10 mths. Wonder how m i going to survive then. I hope my mom can come and visit me next year and come over the following year to help me carry bk things to kl if i m not planning to stay bk in melb. I like it here i mean the weather and everything else bt not the environment i was expecting when i came over here. I really dun noe whether i should gt pr here or not. I noe everything tells me once u gt used to it here then u will be fine bt i still miss home. I miss my frens, mom, etc. Everyone wants me to gt pr here bt i dun noe whether i should. I will c how things go first then only decide and the ruling always change so i dun noe whether i can apply or not. Ppl tell me after i start gettin bz i will not miss home so much bt then i cant be doing things 24 hours a day rite, i still miss home. Mommy, i miss u!!! C u in dec mummy.

Birthday

2006-08-04T18:00:00.000-07:00

So Sad!! This is my first bday without my mom around. Although now getting a bit busy i still think of her a lot maybe bcs i am very close to her and i stick to her like glue. I got work to do and i try to keep myself bz so that i dun think so much of her bt i still think of her a lot no matter how bz i gt. She is the best mom in the whole world. She always teach me to differentiate between the right and wrong. She tells me how to know who is my fren and who is not. At least i get to talk to her everyday if not i will feel more homesick. I am really looking forward to dec. For next year it will be a longer period of 10 mths and i will miss her a lot bt its good that i get to talk to her everyday, at least something. I always ask her for advice although she is in malaysia and i am here in australia. Once my mummy, always my mommy. I hope i get her to be my mommy in my next life. I miss you a lot mummy esp when u are not here on my bday!!

Classes are going on fine although i find it a bit difficult as we have to design and create some stuff. It's quite fun bt at the same time a bit difficult. I really dun noe wad to design for one of the subjects and i have to do it before next fri. DIELAH!!! I really marvel at those ppl who have multimedia background at least they know wad to do and how to use the software. I miss my friends and my petsister. I miss certain food in which i cant find here, even if i can they are not as nice as kl's food. Anyway, have to keep living my life. I am a very negative person bt i am trying my best to be positive. See how things work out!!

Homesick!

2006-07-24T20:36:00.000-07:00

Mummy is back in Malaysia. How i wish she didnt go back so fast. I really miss her loads. I miss her hugs, miss her food, miss her a lot. I really miss her bcs whenever i need something she is always there for me but now she is no longer wid me and i am stuck on my own. Wid her around i feel much safer. Although i always wanted to be independent but i miss her a lot bcs she is not there for me and whenever i need her to be ard when i m sick, when i feel lonely, when i am depressed i can always rely on her as she is always there for me. Although i am very homesick i try my best to show a happy face to everyone. I know i will only be away for her for 5 months i miss her loads! Next year it will be longer. Everyone says that after a while i will get used to it but i really dun noe unless i keep myself bz wid something that can make me keep my mind away from home. How i wish mummy was here in melbourne wid me now! I noe i can call her or sms her or msn her but it is different as she is not physically here. I want her to be physically here! Mummy, i miss u a lot!! I hope i will get used to it soon but i rly dun noe when i will get used to it. I am looking forward to seeing her in dec and then following dec.

Mum going back tomolo!

2006-07-20T23:37:00.000-07:00

WAHHHHHHHHH! My mom is going back to kl tomolo. Wonder when she goes back tomolo how will i be like without her around. Probably will cry a bit at the airport and feel a bit homesick but after that once classes start i think i will be a bit better. I am going to miss my mom when she goes back tomolo but i will see her in December. Hope 5 months pass faster. A lot of people say that 5 months will pass very fast i really hope so. Really going to miss her. i will be back in kl for 3 months and then be back to aus for another 10 months and then i will miss her even more bcs i am very close to my mom. M y auntie said i should not cry when my mom goes back because i have my cuz bro ard as well as her sister and my father's cousin but i wun be seeing my mom for few months, i dun think i can really help it but cry a bit.

My classes are going to start next week and all classes will be at night from 5.30 to 9.30. I dun really like nite classes but i dun really have a choice so have to attend it loh. I think i will eat before i go for classes. My housemate usually cooks but i dun really have a choice but am forced to cook myself but i dun really noe how to cook. I think i will share wid my housemates things bt when it comes to cooking i dun think i really have chance to eat her cooking esp at nite. poor me dun noe how to cook now have to learn how to cook. mayb should learn like chang yee, ta pau pre cooked food and eat it. Mayb once a week should eat out depending on wad i feel like eating can tapau rice for dinner from the restaurant. I hope i can get along well wid my housemates as they are really nice people. C how things go la.

In Melbourne!!!

2006-07-11T22:56:00.000-07:00

M in melbourne now. Weather is quite cold. Have to shift in to my accomodation in a few days time and a bit worried. I tend to hesitate when i do things. Must be more assertive in which i have to learn very soon as my mom will be going bk to kl soon. I am a bit scared also bcs all tis while i always do things with my mom and without my mom ard i wonder what is going to happen to me. I really need to be more assertive.

Orientation will start next week. Wonder whether i can c my mom next week( might be bz wid orientation). Must learn everything on my own already. Must learn to approach ppl to ask when i am in doubt as i tend to be very quiet most of the time when i m not familar wid ppl ard me. I hope i can survive. Must learn how to take train and tram on my own. Must learn to be independent and do things on my own. Must learn to do things on my own.

Classes will start on the following week. Must study hard to make tis two years as i really need to make it. Must concentrate and score for my assignments and exams at least 75% for 50 points or 70% for 100 points to achieve my honours.

DAMN Irritated

2006-06-27T03:14:00.000-07:00

I dont know what is wrong with that friend of mine. She scolded me over the phone last time i sopke to her just bcs i didnt pick up her calls as i was having ICSA exams then. I really dont know what the hell (wanted to say the 'F' word) is wrong with her. She scolded me for not picking up her calls and the other day she asked for my email address and i told her i will email her and then i asked her is that why she called me a few times, she didnt reply bt she called again when i was taking my shower. I am busy doing something she will call me like a few times and i ask her why she called me, she said she just wanted to chat and i didnt call her back today bcs i know i will get scolding from her so why should i call back. And then she says she is fed up of me not picking up her calls and say i m weird bcs i didnt email her some stuff. I emailed to her personal account and she said i didnt email her. She is the only one friend i have who is so controlling (she just a friend bt why is she so controlling i really dont know). She says i am weird etc, i dont care what she says anyway bcs she is just a friend not one of my best friends anyway. She is starting to freak me out already. I really dont know why she is like that. She is the only friend among all my other friends who is to me weird. One week i dun text her and then one day she sms me asking me questions that are of no sense most of the time. I really dun noe what is wrong with her. She really pissed me off today. Dun care, dun wana noe.

Leaving in a weeks time!!!

2006-06-25T21:22:00.000-07:00

OMG! I can't believe time flies so fast. I will be leaving very soon and i havent really packed my things yet but i went on a marathon shopping with my mom during the weekend and by the time we came home we were really exhausted. Got one more weekend in KL and i am off to australia. I really cant believe how time flies nowadays. It's winter in australia and i heard it is really cold but i guess it would not be as cold as edinburgh. I am really going to miss my mom while i m there i guess although my mom will be accompanying me for a couple of weeks. Have to get used to being independent. That is what i really want, whatever that means. Wonder how different i will be after i come back to kl in december.

I am taking a course in which has no relevance to my degree (Bachelor of Business) and now i am pursuing my Masters in Multimedia. I think it would be fun and interesting but i would not know until i actually attend classes. Boy, m i busy for the week(dinner here, lunch there). Although i seldom contact my friends nowadays (they are busy with work and i was busy with work until i resigned) i still keep in touch with them and kinda miss the days when we were studying together (they are my friends, some very close friends too). We always try to meet up but it is very difficult as some work shifts and some work throughout the day till late at nite and weekends some go back to their hometown so we very seldom meet up but i still make an effort in keeping in touch with them.

I had a meeting with the FC on a weekend and guess who i saw, my ex-manager and then i met her again on tue at mamak. Dun noe why i keep bumping into her when i dun really wana c her bt who cares and i am not working for her anymore anyway. Wonder how the office is doing nowadays. Really dun noe and dun care already as i m no longer there. Have to meet up with the FC again in dec to discuss the things.

I am now thinking what else have i left out in which i havent bought for the trip. When i come back in dec i will not bring my big bag back but will bring a smaller one as i would not be bringing all my stuff back to kl except for the items i need to take back here to change. Anyway, whoever i have not met and will not meet before i leave, i wish u ALL THE BEST in whatever you pursue! Take care ALL!!!!

Boring

2006-05-26T05:23:00.000-07:00

Getting bored already!!! I finished up the work for tt someone and m now a bit relieved bt i m still getting calls from the office. Cant find this cant find that. HELLO, i labelled everything before i left. How can u come tell me dun have. The labels are at least font 36. Dun tell me that also cant c unless they are blind or they are not bothered to find it. I really dun understand some ppl. Cant get me sms me. Eh, u think i very free ah. My exams coming up and i cant find the ans for some questions and u always want me to entertain u. Wad u think i m? Still your staff or u wan me to spoon feed u all ah? I already briefed the new gal everything she needs to noe. I entertain u for the first few days and u take advantage of it, tt is y i dun want to entertain already. FED UP!!

Exams coming up and i cant find answers for some of the questions. I really dun noe how to answer some of the questions. Die la like tt. How to go sit for exams? I dun like studying something wid too many words. HATE TT!! Must think of a way la. I m having exams on the 7th and 9th la. Got a week more to study. Mz work harder.

American Idol results are out. I cant believe Taylor won. I dun like him. He is oni good at his unique dance moves. Katherine's voice is much betta than Taylors bt reality is reality. He won. Nothing anyone can do. I just can't believe it. I like the performance of Clay Aiken. He is very handsome wid his new hairstyle. Look very handsome, young and cute. He's cute.

My back is still paining even though i had a massage session. I think its because of the knots again. I dun noe why i m getting back pain again. Aiyah, wad to do, getting old ma. Can't imagine myself when i m old.

Got another 5 weeks before i leave and i havent done anything. Have oni taken out my clothes which i wana bring there bt nothing else. Not much time bt still got time la. Going there rite smack in the middle of winter bt i doubt it would be as cold as edinburgh. I have to create a to-do list to make sure i get everything done. Have to teach my mom how to use some software and her gadgets before i leave and have to do up all the videos before i leave bt for now have to concentrate on studying first. Got so much to do bt very little time. Wad to do la. Have to get everything done la.

EXAM!!!!

2006-05-18T08:05:00.000-07:00

I got two more weeks to my exams and still stuggling to study the whole manual. Dun noe wad is wrong wid me tis week. I have to pass on something to someone by monday n i m not even half way done yet. I have to finish it by monday so i can concentrate on my studies. MUSTTT!!!

My back was paining since the weekend and me and my bright idea, i asked my chinese doctor to come and rub my back for me and the after effect of rubbing is really bad. Its so painful. REALLY PAINFUL and SORE!!! I have gone through it before but this time really bad maybe bcs i havent rubbed for a long time and the doctor said my back has a lot of tiny knots that is creating the pain.

I have been getting calls from the office, don't know how to do this, don't know how to do that. HELLO, most of the things i learned on my own that is the reason why some of the files i created i have already deleted. I can't be teaching them everything. Cannot find files, call me, Cannot find other files look for my ex-colleague. I briefed them everything before i left and still ask me. After monday, i will keep my phone shut already. I m no longer working there, no longer a staff why everything must ask me d.

Boring and sick

2006-05-14T05:41:00.000-07:00

No need to go to work anymore. Yipppeeee! After my ipoh trip on monday i just got sick and sicker and sicker by the day. Got a very bad sore throat the last two days until i didnt wana eat anything at all. I kept on sleeping for the last two days and have a very bad back ache too. Dun think i should sleep anymore if not i will get very lazy. I should be sitting down to study bt havent got to it yet and my exams are three weeks away. Should start studying tomolo i guess.

I got so many appointments for the next week. Meeting up wid my frens to chat etc. Gonna watch Grease next week, cant wait. I hope i dun get any calls from the office bcs i dun wan them to call me. Got lunch and dinner appointments not for the whole week bt got 3 appointments next week. Can't wait to see some of my frens whom i havent seen for ages as they are bz wid their work and so was i. I need to start preparing for my trip bt i havent even created my list yet and i got exams in 3 weeks time.

I wonder wad is wrong wid me tis few days, probably because i m sick la. I was talking to my kai mui today n she even asked me wad was wrong wid me. I think i a bit siao siao already. Cant think straight bcs i have beem slping too much. Hehehehe! Should start writing notes to study for my exams if not i fail again my mom is going to kill me oh. I must not fail the exams again if not i think i m going to pengsan la.

I still argue wid someone now and then n i still hate that person. I wonder how to live wid him as a little thing might trigger him off and me too. Dun noe how i tahan him so long one la. he never listens to me and i dun even listen to him bcs i dun respect him.

Everyone ask me whether i have a bf n i told them no and ppl ask me why not. How to ans them la? I dun even noe the answer to tt question. Hope i get an ans very soon if not more and more people are going to ask me tt question.

My last day

2006-05-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

HORRAYYY! My last day at work!!! YAHOOOOOOOO!!!! Time to relax and start studying for my exams. I have to prepare a list to get ready for my trip. So HAAPPPPPYYY and SOOOO GLLLADDDD! Finished up most of the work for my new colleague who is replacing me. Everyone there has two face, one wid my manager around and one widout my manager around. They are so different with my manager around. So weird. Now can relax a bit. No need so stress up and rush things.

Went to see my boss to say goodbye and thank you to him for everything. Going to miss some people but not all la. Going over to Melbourne in July. Have to start preparing for things already at the same time have to study. Wonder how life in Melbourne is like. I shall wait and see. Going to miss some of my friends and my petsisters and petbrothers.

I have to start studying for the ICSA exams early June but can relax a bit and have to start to prepare for my trip. My exams is in June 7 and June 9 and got sometime to study. Got so many appointments and meetings before i leave.

Holiday

2006-04-29T07:05:00.000-07:00

Yipppppeeeee! Monday is a holiday and i am on leave on tuesday so a very long stretch of holiday for me but also not a holiday bcs i need to do my work at home. At least at home i can get some work done at home rather than in the office. I cant get anything done in the office. I got officially 6 and a half days at work then i am free as a bird.

My parents anniversary is round the corner and so is mother's day and i already got my mom a mother's day present. A lot of things to do and so little time. I am so glad i m leaving already, at the rate things are going it is very soon going to collapse. No one can do anything and i dont care what happens anymore. I dun give a damn anymore. I cant be bothered bcs i no longer respect anyone from there anymore. Enough is enough. I dun have a temper but they are already starting to create one for me, that is why i am glad i am leaving bcs i dun wana have a temper.

My back is aching and my neck is paining i dun know why, probably bcs lack of rest and so much things to do with so little time. I havent even prepared anything for my melbourne trip bcs i just dun have the time. I will have time after may 11 but also have to study for my exams. I need to create a list what to prepare for my trip as i will be there for a couple of years even though i will be back for the summer holidays. I havent had time to even do the list yet.

I went to cut my hair today and my mom was complaining it is too short at the top bt that is what i actually wanted so i didnt bother. I wonder how my frens who have gone over to australia and spore and even those who are outstation doing? I havent seen them for sometime bcs they are not in kl so a bit hard to meet up with them. Even those who are in kl, all of us are so bz we seldom meet up but we still keep in touch which i am quite glad.

Wonder how all my petsisters and petbrothers are doing? All of them seem so bz with work. I will be meeting up with some of my frens after my last day. My younger petsis who likes the same taiwan group as me is so bz with her assignments at college i dun feel very nice disturbing her at times but she is at times the only one on9.

Anyway, looking forward to going over to melbourne. I wana be independent bcs i have been so dependent on my mom. She has done a lot for me and i love her so much. She is the one who paid my fees, the one who i can always rely on the listen to my problems, the one who i can rely on when i m not well. She is always there for me and now it is time for me to become independent and go out and explore the world and experience the meaning of being independent. I will still depend on her but not as much as i am now. It's really time for me to go out on my own, do everything on my own already as i know my mom cannot be there for my entire life. I need to do things on my own already as i m getting older by day. Independent is the word!!!

Tired and Exhausted

2006-04-28T06:55:00.000-07:00

A bit more than one week to go and i cant think straight. Too many work to do and too little time. I havent thought about the melbourne trip yet as i got so much things to do and i have to study for exams in early june. After May 11, i can relax a bit.

I cant think of a way to solve certain issues. I really dont know whether at times i am doing the right thing or not. I can hardly concentrate at times. I got so many things on my head to think about and also need to start prepare for my melbourne trip. I cannot stand the environment at the office anymore as a lot of things are upside down already. I am so tired and exhausted. Got so much of work and so little time.